Rather i die while my love be true.

ENT•RIES PROF•ILO AMI•CO CHIACCHI•ERATA Mé•MOIRES DIS•CLAIMER

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Wake Up!

I didn't ask for these scars. Neither did I do it on purpose. I wouldn't blame them to poke fun on these scars. These scars remained; no matter how much i hate it. But these wounds were tend by her. Day by day, knowing i wouldn't even be bothered to even try to heal. For i see no sense in trying since I became disfigured.

I began to severe ties with my friends; even those who are close to me. I came to realize, how small the world can be. 2nd & 3rd degree friends making their move. Maybe it's just my unjustified jealousy, but I began to understand, someday they will be more important than my status now.

I won't name anybody. It's funny to know someone who used to cherish you became close to your 2nd & 3rd degree friends. Exchanging random friendly comments, with lots of hugs and kisses, and chatting through phone and MSN. While I am staring blankly at those comments, trying hard not to speculate and think about what I'm seeing.

Not only I've severed ties with them, I've even thrown away my life. Eating the devil fruit. Just so I won't lose out. From the people whom i can trust most, they became the last ever person I prefer to forgive and see in this world. Slowly, i began hating their existence in my life. I even lost faith in family.

Slowly, I'm losing grasp of humanity. Giving up to anger and hatred. I can't afford to give up yet. Pride pushes me forward. I never want to lose anymore. Not till i drop. 'Cos I know that nobody ever ask about me. Nobody will know I'm at the brim of limits. At least when the day comes for me to drop, I know i gave my all.

I've got a long way more to go. Till i suffer worst enough, and being acknowledged i went through the pain she suffers, i refuse to drop. Till then, this disfigured face boy wishes to depart for now.

7:30 PM | back to top

Friday, October 9, 2009

There You'll Be

Pardon the following post. It's been weeks since. 3 weeks has since past, and I'm done with PTP. BMT commences as early as next week and I'm eagerly looking forward to it. If I were to be asked, what have you learn so far, I wouldn't be able to explain.

Ever since the 1st bookout on the eve of Hari Raya, i came to a conclusion National Service could change your life, for the better or worst, depending on each individual point of view. For me, National Service isn't an excuse nor a bane. I began to appreciate what's always been there for me; and pity others who have yet to see it.

I began to see eye to eye with others; respecting their point of view despite disagreeing with their stand. I began to set achievements and dared myself to push myself beyond limits. They say the sky's our limit. But we're dared to dream. To be somebody even if the chances are minimal.

I'm thankful to god. My comrades are nothing close to what I'd imagine. Backed by proper family upbringing, we spur each other to surpass opening the path of new skills and talents. The love and concern you received is definitely different. It is only now most of us realized we've been taking our so called life for granted. Army isn't as bad as before.

Welfare has been their main concern in this modern era, specializing more on urban warfare and caring for soldiers. They say I'd be a man, but what i became was more human. I realized I'm tolerant of everything being thrown at me. Respecting their orders from higher above. Regimental life has taught me to appreciate everything i have.

I know it's late, but Selamat Hari Raya to my friends out there. Thanks Tigress for spending time with me on Hari Raya. Say hello to BMT. I, REC MUHAMMAD FADLI BIN NORDIN, S88*****D, from SUPPORT COY, PLATOON 11, SECTION 1, BED 5, signing off. For now, PTP loh!

5:30 PM | back to top

PORTFOLIO

Please read carefully. What you see is sometimes not what you get. Fadd is a sophomore in the University Of Cambridge, majoring in both Information Technology and Visual Communications. He has an intrinsic flair in poetics and linguistics and is the coolest person you will ever come across. He enjoys volunteer work and is a strong propagator of blood and organ donation; a strategy that puts him so many steps closer to his ultimate ambition of creating a better world. Meanwhile, he looks forward to joining the Management force, and molding the future of the nation like his great grandfather. He is also an enthusiastic Singaporean and also a member of the Young PAP. Fadd hates being around people and always fathom the thought of being alone and lonely. He has a perverse curiosity of finding out if his cat can stop a moving MRT train with it's bare paws and he loves catching girls wearing skirts in his boxers. His alter ego aims to be the aloof, drifting Clouds who protects the Family from an independent standpoint, and whom nothing can ever bind.

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